. . . who check this space for random postings -- thank you so much! There's something neat about "connecting" with you here, even though I don't know when you come, or even who some of you are probably. . .
It has been a bit of a trying time for me here these days. . . in many ways, I guess. I think I realized today that I am being reminded I need to be a learner, who is able to admit my shortcomings. These past few days have been filled with a lot of great and fun things, a lot of hard work (I'm not used to that ;-) and finding out some things about myself that maybe I didn't really want to! :-s I guess I've always thought of myself as a pretty respectful person, and yet, many times that's just the image I try to portray on the outside, as long as I can "fool" the other person into believing my facade, I justify it to myself that everything is ok. Guess lying, even to yourself, always ends up showing itself. It wasn't like a "big event" that shocked me into the realization, but just the comment "You must be busy". It came after I had agreed to do something for this person, and I stood there impatiently while they tried to tell and show me how to do a very basic thing (as if I had to do it that "specific" way). It was obvious how I hurredly asked if I could take the supplies to my house to do the job (since I didn't want to wait around any longer). That's when the comment came, "You must be busy". It kind of made me cringe. Even though it was true, do I really want to be a "busy" person?! Too busy to have meaningful interactions with people, or feel like I'm always jsut rushing through something to get onto the next?
The other thing I think God is trying to knock into my head is the practice of humility -- an independent and strongly opinionated personality doesn't always readily accept the advice / good intentions of others, or recognize her "guest status" here in another country. How did Jesus ever humble Himself to the point of coming to this earth to live with us?! When things frustrate me about living here, I sometimes want to just "rebel" against them, and exert my individuality as a "Canadian". . . I think looking at my situation, I've had a lot of "freedoms", to continue life (at least in many ways) the way I'm used to or comfortable with, that many of my other friends who work at Japanese companies haven't had.
Seems like another twist in the road that I hadn't expected, but I hope that I will be able to keep my eyes focussed on the One who humbled Himself to the ultimate sacrifice for us. . . and take my cues from Him. Thanks for "listening" -- let's talk again soon. . . ;-)
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"as we pray 'your kingdom come!' we also commit ourselves to initiate here + now approximations and anticipations of God's reign." *david bosch*
4 comments:
Your welcome for "checkin in!" and I can relate to what your saying(as you will see as you read on)
I find sometimes people(that dose include me) put on a "mask" at times. and even tho its not always needed its easier to do so and lye then it is to come forth and express whats really bothering you or express other things and really show how you are feeling. I think the mask that people can use is a security blanket at times. Regardless of if its needed or not, its something we have have just to make it through life.
Regardless of this tho you find the people in the world who will respect you regardless of "the mask" which is what really gets us through things. Cause you know you can trust them and "be real" its just finding these people that can be the hard part… and if that’s easy then allowing them to get through that “wall” that we all seem to put up, for whatever reason. (for me if you can get “on the inside” of my wall then feel lucky)…cause I don’t let many people in…however I still just live life and most of the time enjoy it.
I find sometimes we can rush people who are telling us stuff…even if we don’t really mean to or don’t notice that we did till later. I think it is mostly just human nature. We have all gotten to a point of rush, rush in life that we take advantage of the small things or chances to either get out of something or get it done and over with. However as much as we try not to do this sometimes I think its done not out of just being busy/ un intentionally rude but by second nature.
(reads on…)
I agree with you when yah say "an independent and strongly opinionated personality doesn't always readily accept the advice / good intentions of other" Ive learned that when i was in 7th grade by almost not being advanced to 7th grade...i was ppt i know what to do...when really in the end if i had listened i would have done much better and gotten my self farther.(that and it was the combo if the “im a teen age kid and I know it all!”) i can still be a strongly opinionated person mind you (and I don’t see it really as a bad thing)...but I have begun to learn when and when not to actually "express" this. but yet sometimes i open by big mouth at times when I should have really kept it shut.(haha did that the other day at work actually.. :S lol)
well. anyways karis, hope your doing well. take care of yourself, and keep on truckin.. even tho things get "crappy" at times and you learn things you may not have wanted to it can only make you even more of a strong person.
Love you!
*hug*
Steph
R2YC(replying to your comment)- Thanks Karis...ill try not to loose it...mind you it dosent even really feel lik ei have much of a deep mind...i just write what i think of stuff.... however if you say i gots it i must!! so thanks!
Woot August is almost here!
Ciao
l,
Steph
I was happy to 'listen'. I agree, this medium of blogging can be amazing and learning things don't always come through the big things in our lives but rather in the little things. I am learning that too!
I forgot (The past of forget, I think) To post my e-mail!!!
that's it : micaelmagnifico@hotmail.com
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